Kemaro island is a history's place. The location of kemaro island is 6 Km from Ampera bridge, after "Pupuk Sriwijaya", Kemaro island, we can visit through 2 lines, land and sea. If by road we can use the motorcycle and if by sea we can use ride because they have to cross the river, except for its festival. We supplied road to get there. In Kemaro island there is Chinase Vihara (klenteng Hok Tjing Rio ), True of love, Statue and tomb of Ton Bun An and Siti Fatimah. Kemaro island have legend story about Ton Bun An and Siti Fatimah.
Ton Bun An and Siti Fatimah will be married but Ton Bun An is a prince from Chinese. Back to chinese because blessing to her parents and ask for gold. Arriving near the island kemaro, Ton Bun An look the gold but he looks only purkled mustard greens and he angry and threw the jars in to river but he look the gold and he jump the river for taket he gold in the river. But he also drawned in the river. Siti Fatimah is a daughter of king Palembqag
She heqr what happened to hee future husband and she jump to the river for save her husband but she also drawned in the river.
7 komentar:
history's place ==> historic site.
True of Love ==> Tree of Love
Good job ko.
In the 2nd line, I think it's "through 2 ways" not "through 2 lines", In the 3rd line, what do you mean by "we supplied road to get there"?
Also, "he drown in the river" not "drawned". But it's a nice story :D
I review again your vocabulary is very untidy sir.. such as
She heqr
Hee future
Palembqag
I confused your vocabularies sir.
I think she jumped not jump because its past tense, righ sir..???
Ones again its chinese not chinase sir,
Good job.
in the third sentence I think wrong "(there is) Chinase Vihara (klenteng Hok Tjing Rio ), True of love, Statue and tomb of Ton Bun An and Siti Fatimah" actually (there are).
and your vocabulary (palembqag,heqr,etc).
For the first sentence ,you can write " kemaro island is a historical place in palembang and one more ,in the 2nd paragraph, Tan Bun An and Siti Fatimah wanna marry ,I think it will be nice if you write it . But I like it .Thanks rico for the information
Great guys...
You're all on the right track!
go ahead Ricko... You've done well, but you need to revise your writing.
You need to change some words on your writing, e.g.
- history's place -> historical place, etc
You also need to watch the grammar you used, e.g.
- We supplied road to get there (did you mean "We're supplied a transportation to get there" ?)
- Ton Bun An and Siti Fatimah will be married but Ton Bun An is a prince from Chinese (change it into past tense) ... etc
overall, it's nice.
Go ahead
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